Her hand absent-mindedly dived into the bag of crisps, desperately scratching the sides, hunting for the last salty crumbs. Jessie licked her fingers as the screen in front of the sofa was screaming something about silky hair. She hated the pointless pressure of modern society. She grabbed the remote control and switched between the channels until a gracious frame caught her eye. On the screen, a young woman was spinning slowly. When she stopped, she was wearing a very small bathing suit and a large golden belt. A golden tiara delicately framed her hair around her beautiful face. At her wrists, she wore powerful bracelets that could stop bullets and still make her look like an active woman. Her single weapon was a golden lasso that she handled smoothly, almost like a promise of a better world. Wonder Woman waved her arms as she ran in her tiny blue shorts. Suddenly Jessie knew that she had to release her inner Wonder Woman to meet with society’s approval. She too could be a hero of the modern times. She found herself walking towards her wardrobe. Very carefully she chose her superhero costume: Black leggings and a grey jumper. Then she accessorised it to find her superhero persona: a pair of pink bunny rabbit ears for seductiveness and a large rucksack for practicality. She looked at the image in the mirror: She was a new woman. She quickly built a golden lasso and threw it inside the bag. Armed with her newly found confidence Jessie left the flat to face the dangerous, urbanised world, keeping her eyes open for any trouble that she could solve. It didn’t take her long to face her first hero test. In the back alley next to her block a group of teenagers were actively spraying obscene graffiti on the wall.
‘Stop’ Jessie ordered.
‘What the fuck’ one of them replied as he looked at the overweight figure.
‘I am the reborn Wonder Woman’ Jessie said.
The boys’ laughter echoed painfully in her ears.
‘I’m here to save this wall’ she continued.
The fools, God may have pity, ignored her. Jessie opened her rucksack and released her superpower: She threw a thin rope at the gang, her golden lasso with a twist. The brick attached at the end of the rope crushed loudly against a boy’s skull.
‘Take that, mother fucker’ Jessie concluded. She was enjoying her career as a superhero.